IELTS Speaking cue cards › Family Relationships
Describe an older member of your family whom you respect and look up to
Describe an older member of your family whom you respect and look up to. You should say: - who this person is and what their relationship to you is - what their life experiences have been - how much time you spend with them and explain why you hold this person in such high regard.
How to approach it
Open with a clear introduction naming the person and your relationship, then move through their life experiences and your contact with them before closing with a well-developed explanation of your admiration. Examiners reward coherent narrative flow, natural idiomatic language and the ability to extend ideas beyond simple facts. Aim to speak for the full two minutes by adding specific details and a brief personal anecdote rather than listing points mechanically.
1-minute preparation notes
- Grandma – maternal side, 78
- Escaped civil war, rebuilt life abroad
- See her every Sunday dinner
- Taught me resilience + humility
- Wisdom without formal education
Band 8+ sample answer (Part 2)
Show the sample answer (try speaking first)
I'd like to talk about my maternal grandmother, who's 78 years old and has honestly been one of the most influential people in my life.
Her story is remarkable. She was born in a small rural village and, when she was in her late twenties, she had to flee her home country during a period of serious civil unrest. She arrived in a new country with virtually nothing – no language skills, no money, and two young children in tow. Over the following decades she built a stable life entirely from scratch, working in a factory by day and learning the local language at night classes. She never finished formal schooling, yet she raised four children, all of whom went on to university. I think that's extraordinary.
In terms of how much time we spend together, I see her every Sunday for a family dinner, and I also try to call her mid-week for a proper chat. Those conversations are something I genuinely look forward to.
As for why I hold her in such high regard – it really comes down to her character. She never complains, never plays the victim, even though life dealt her some very difficult cards. She has this quiet, unshakeable dignity that I find deeply inspiring. Whenever I'm stressed about something trivial, I think about what she went through and it immediately puts things in perspective. She's also the kind of person who listens before she speaks, which is rarer than you'd think. To put it simply, she's taught me more about resilience and humility than any book ever could.
Written for StudyChat as an example of a band 8+ answer. 263 words, about 2 minutes spoken.
Part 3 discussion questions
In what ways can older generations pass on valuable knowledge and life lessons to younger family members?
Storytelling is probably the most powerful method – sitting with a grandparent and hearing first-hand accounts of hardship or historical events makes lessons far more vivid than anything in a textbook. Older relatives can also model behaviour directly, demonstrating values like patience or frugality through daily habits. In many Asian cultures, for example, multi-generational households make this transfer almost automatic, whereas in more individualistic societies it requires a conscious effort from families.
Do you think modern families spend enough quality time with their elderly relatives? Why or why not?
Honestly, I don't think most do, and I include myself in that criticism. Busy work schedules, social media distractions and the physical distance created by people moving cities for careers all eat into the time that previous generations took for granted. Some surveys suggest increasing loneliness among the over-seventies, which would indicate that family contact is declining. A weekly phone call simply isn't a substitute for genuine, unhurried time spent together.
How have changing family structures, such as smaller households and people moving away for work, affected the relationships between generations?
The impact has been considerable. When grandparents and grandchildren share a home, relationships develop naturally and continuously. Once people relocate for work or education, those bonds have to be maintained deliberately, which requires more effort and often happens less frequently. The result is that younger generations may grow up without really knowing their elderly relatives as full, complex individuals. Technology helps bridge the gap to some extent, but a video call can't fully replicate physical presence.
What role should society and government play in supporting elderly people who no longer have close family nearby?
I think government has a clear responsibility here. Publicly funded community centres, affordable care homes and regular welfare check programmes can prevent elderly people from falling into dangerous isolation. Some Northern European countries offer a useful model, where local authorities fund social activities specifically for seniors. Beyond government, I'd argue that communities themselves – neighbours, local volunteers, religious groups – can fill many of the gaps that family used to cover, provided they receive adequate support and coordination.
Useful language
- hold someone in high regard – A natural alternative to 'respect'; use it when explaining your admiration, e.g. 'I hold her in very high regard.'
- built a life from scratch – Describes starting over with nothing; useful when talking about someone's life experiences and resilience.
- deal someone a difficult hand – Idiomatic way to say life presented hard circumstances; e.g. 'Life dealt her a difficult hand.'
- put things in perspective – Use this when explaining what you learn from the person; e.g. 'She always puts my problems in perspective.'
- pass on wisdom – Natural collocation for how older people share knowledge; e.g. 'She passed on a lot of wisdom without ever lecturing me.'
- unshakeable dignity – A vivid collocation to describe calm, quiet self-respect in the face of hardship.
- look up to someone – Directly from the prompt; natural in spoken English to mean admire and respect someone older.
- multi-generational household – Useful Part 3 collocation when discussing family structures and how knowledge is transferred between ages.
Common mistakes on this card
- Spending too long on who the person is and rushing the final prompt – the 'why you hold them in high regard' section should be the most developed part of your answer, not an afterthought added in the last ten seconds.
- Using vague praise such as 'she is very good and kind' without any specific detail or anecdote, which keeps the answer at a lower band; examiners reward concrete examples that show rather than tell.
- Mispronouncing or overusing the word 'respect' as a filler, making the answer sound repetitive; vary your language with alternatives like 'admire', 'look up to', 'hold in high regard' and 'find inspiring'.
Record your answer and get a band score
Answer this card out loud, then the Part 3 questions. You get a band estimate on all four criteria, with pace, pauses and fillers measured from your recording.
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